The Newtown shoothings left me feeling paralyzed.  It was hard for me to imagine a young adult shooting children.  I understand the mental illness but what I don't understand is for Adam's mother to store so many deadly weapons in her house while knowing about Adam's illness.  I believe us parents are responsible for our children from the moment of inception till we are dead and gone.  Even then it is the child we haver reared with her/his behavior carries our sensibility and shows the society how her/his parents raised them, what kind of sensiblity the parents instilled in the child.  I became so paralyzed after the shooting that I could not leave my room for a while.  Finally when I could I decided to do a serious detoxing otherwise I couldn't see myself functioning.  I decided to drink just hot water with freshly sliced organic lemons that I had purchased from Bath Natural Market on Center Street, one block away right her in town.  Go on long walks both at Popham Beach and Reid State Park,  then take a steam shower followed by exfoliation.  First day, I started the day with hot water and lemon, packed a few nuts, an apple with big mason jar of hot water and lemon, drove to Popham Beach.  Popham Beach is only 13 miles south of the inn, it is about 6 miles of beach.  It is simply magnificent, quiet even during high tourist season in Maine.  It is relatively untouched so not many tourists flock there unlike Bar harbor, Camden, or Kennebunckport, where senior Bush president's residence resides on the beautiful peninsula, in Maine.  These places are beautiful however, they have become increasingly commercialized taking away the sensibility of being in nature by offering the same goods such as the t-shirts, little trinkets.  Bath itself is far from a Touristy town, it has lovely small shops that are for the residents to shop.  So I enjoyed my walk on Popham Beach and Reid State Park, came back and enjoyed a great steam shower.  Turned on the steam, let the poures of my skin open then started exfoliating, as I exfoliated, long, fat rolls of dead skin came off, removing all the saddness laying inside of me, well, some of it becuase sadness as such, grieving the death of children is not easy.  It is not something one can forget easily.  After the steam and exfoliation, washed and shampood finishing my steam shower.  I wore my bathrobe and sipped on spice tea that I had brewed, just letting go of all the hurt.  I then went up to the yoga studio and did some yoga followed by meditation.  Once I was done with the long walks on the beautiful beaches, the steam shower, exfoliation, spice tea, yoga and meditation, I just curled up with a book.